I am putting it out there in the hopes you can hear and maybe help me out. I request a happy ending please (and I am not talking about the type of happy ending that takes place in certain massage parlour establishments). I am standing on the side of the road right now because I decided to get out of the vehicle I was in and walk -- not realizing that although in the end this might be the right path, it is also the path that forces me to deal with a lot of my own thoughts and external weather. Please give me a sign universe that I was supposed to do this. A sign that may also state that I am generally headed in the right direction to enter the emerald city. I realize that at times I may venture off this yellow brick road, but if I could just know that I am heading in the right direction I would greatly appreciate it.

Finally Universe, could you please send the Sandman my way? I am kind of tired, but my thoughts, anxieties, worries etc. are keeping me up till strange hours of the morning. Unfortunately, I am then expected to be sitting at my desk every day too which cuts into any sleep I do manage to get. You can see how this is wreaking havoc on me a little bit...

And one more note...thank you universe for the things you have provided me so far. Thank you for motivating me enough with hopes and dreams of a brighter day that I can function well enough to keep a roof over my head and my furry children well fed. Thank you for sunshine on my walk home from work today.

Sincerely,
Laura

in an effort to feel better, i thought i would focus on what was fabulous today:

i received my marks back in 19th Century Lit. i passed with a B+ which i am super okay with.

i am working on a project at work that is really engaging right now. i am happiest when i am busy.

i had a wonderful conversation with my tutor yesterday who provided me with tips to help me grow as a writer. i am excited to try out her suggestions.

i had a good conversation last night that has left me feeling more calm today. i am trying to enjoy this possible eye of the storm.

I have a new manager at work and she told me that sometimes when one's cocoon breaks open there is a little bit of pain. Right now I have a lot of pain in life. It's hard to get out of bed. It's hard to smile at friends, family and strangers and pretend that everything is normal. It's hard to stop myself from freaking right out. When my manager said this to me, she was discussing the new dynamics of our department. I think the reason this new manager came into my life the moment she did is because I needed to hear this piece of wisdom to apply to my personal life.

Yes, I am feeling copious amounts of pain right now. I am doubled over and I am having issues believing the pain will subside. But this pain is because my cocoon is bursting. I am going through a change and any moment my wings will unfold and I will be able to soar.

"If there was never any change, there wouldn't be butterflies" -unknown

One of my favorite quotes. Things will be okay. This is all making me stronger, smarter and more successful.

Hello friend,
I am so glad you are here. January was filled with surprises and lots of stressed-filled moments. I am hoping the 28 days you encompass will be less roller coaster and more Ferris wheel as that is my hope for 2010.

This month will be busy though. Here is my month to-do list
1. CanLit Challenge Essay (to be done Feb long wknd - Feb 13-15)
2. CanLit Challenge Final (to be written Feb 27)
3.Learn to Snowboard (am hosting a 3 week clinic with GirlTalk through Canada Olympic Park the last two Sundays of February and the 1st Sunday of March)
4. Organize my psychology course so that I can complete it by March 31
5.Hang pictures in bathroom and living room
6. Purchase a dining room table so that I have somewhere to sit and eat!
7. Set up some automatic transfers to regain control over my money
8.Read The Lovely Bones and create some discussion questions for book club meeting on 18th. More of a format where if there is a lull in conversation can use questions as a reference?
9.Compare a few different models of kind of car I want. Go for some test drives. Try to come to a decision
10. Organize Birth week celebration that will be commencing in March

It's heart month, so I need to also remember to take some time to nurture myself. Does anyone have any suggestions on ways to nurture ones self?

I will enjoy bridesmaid dress shopping without worrying about the shape of my body
I will finish up all the loose ends of this course so I can start a new month with a fresh slate
I will prepare for Sunday morning's book club meeting, finishing The Glass Castle
I will arise early on Saturday to enjoy the every minute of the day
I will write copious thoughts in my journal and try to let this feeling of guilt go
I will buy a new leash and take Molly for a much needed walk

(Source of Photos: Google Images)

Many years ago I picked up a CD based on the cover photograph of a child-like woman with coloured markers all over her face. The artist was Sia. Her album was Some People have Real Problems. I never listened to this album until earlier this week looking for something new to listen to while cooking. I AM IN LOVE ♥♥.

Her cover of I go to Sleep is amazing. Her voice is full of emotion and soul. The entire album is really speaking to me right now and has been on repeat all week. I am sure my neighbours are thrilled. I am also loving The Girl you lost to Cocaine and Academia.

The album even has a secret song Buttons(remember when CDS first were a big deal and the secret song was an even bigger one?? Hi Alanis!) that is kind of upbeat although the lyrics are kind of down.

If you ever see this album while out and about, pick it up. Or just watch Sia on youtube. She does a lot of performances where she signs the lyrics while she sings. Her stage presence is captivating because of it.