Thursday, December 8, 2011

The Fading of the Bar Star

One thing I have learned as I am nearing my 30s is that the allure of the bar or night club is not as enticing. I spent most of my twenties speaker dancing, shooting back jager bombs, waking up with a headache in the morning. Showing my skin to the world in the hopes that it would set me apart from the other girls also showing their skin, dancing on speakers, shooting back jager shots and waking up with headaches.

As I get older, I am less focused on the "fun" that a drunken, dancing night out falsely promises and more focused on what I can do to better myself, be productive in the moment and secure the things I want for myself. I don't spend my weekends slinging drinks in stilettos while trying to maintain a conversation with boys over the cacophony of bass and cheap pop music. I spend my weekends enjoying a cold beer with my boyfriend while we cook dinner together, sipping coffee in the afternoons while reading and broadening my mind, meeting like-minded girlfriends for the occasional martini to motivate each other in our fields of choice. At the end of the weekend, I know that I have helped myself to grow and develop, and create new ideas and goals to help further me along in life. I am not waking up on Sunday mornings wishing for death, chasing the hair of the dog in the hopes of re-enacting the prior evening out. I waking up refreshed and renewed and ready to embrace the day.

With this self discovery, I have realized that there are two groups of friends in my life. Those that continue haunting the dark dance floors reminiscing about all of the best times they have ever had, but barely remember, and those that are growing up, focusing, and creating the life they intend to have. I realize that as I too start to make choices that will affect where I will be in 5, 10, 20 years, I have less and less in common with my bar-star friends. And although any break up of any relationship is hard, I don't miss those "glory" days and I don't feel the connection with those people that I thought I once had.

Maybe this is just another sign of growing up--the realization that now that I am not 20, I look ridiculous out partying with the kids. The realization that I would rather line up dinner party plans with our friends then line up shots with them. The realization that I am perceived as a stronger, more empowered woman with a clear head than with a drunken glaze in my eyes. The realization that just a hint of skin garners more attention then the skimpiest outfits. The realization that my life does not have to be set in a dance club. The realization that I actually enjoy not having to endure the monotony of a night club (because let's be honest, they really are all the same).

The stars shine so bright, but they're fading after dawn


She-Ra said...

You have such an inspiring perspective on life. I've noticed that you seem so much happier today than even 3 years ago when I met you! While I am still in the midst of my early-20s tequila days, I look forward to reaching the same place as yourself in the coming years. Date nights > Bar nights

Laura said...

Dear She-ra, you are still in your early 20s SO it is absolutely appropriate for you to speaker dance the night away. Lately, I have noticed that I am lacking a connection with my 30 year old peers that seem to still be focused on getting smashed night after night. And I know that you will see that too in a few years.