Tuesday, May 1, 2012

When I was 21

A man dressed up as a monkey delivered 21 helium balloons and sang happy birthday to me in a very posh restaurant. The maitre d' looked horrified and repulsed with the scene this monkey was causing. My boyfriend looked horrified and repulsed with the scene this monkey was causing. The patrons of the restaurant reluctantly joined in the singing. I smiled from ear-to-ear with glee that my step mother had arranged this for me to commemorate a milestone birthday.

I knew that night that the "relationship" I was in had to end. Not only did that boyfriend get angry from being embarrassed, but also made me pay for the birthday meal that he had arranged to take me out for. I'm not shallow and it wasn't about him paying or not paying, but it was a consistent factor in our relationship that he would arrange for us to do things that he couldn't afford and knew that I could. You can only give so much until you snap. It wasn't the first time I had wanted to not be his girlfriend. There had been a multitude of arguments and annoyances and times I had told him I didn't want to be with him, but he just wouldn't go. And I began to feel that I had made my bed.

The next morning, I woke up in his little apartment before he or his roommate had. I took my 21 helium balloons and went out on the balcony, releasing them to the Universe with the plea to give me strength to get out of this unfulfilled relationship. With a deep breath, I went back in and got ready for school. I had dreams and aspirations despite dating a boy who floated from job to job and had no real ambition.

That evening, I was at home when the phone rang. It was the boy calling from jail. He and his friends thought they could get away with doing something unbelievably stupid to make quick money and they were caught. He wanted me to send money. He wanted me to believe he had no idea this was planned. He wanted me to believe he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He wanted me to wait for him as he went to trial and served time. I believed that the Universe had delivered the sign that it had heard my plea from earlier. It was the cleanest and easiest break up I had ever gone through.

I have no idea where this boy is now. How his trial went. How long of a term he may have ended up serving. I can't state that this was the relationship that made me smarter in my choices of guys I dated as I went through two heart breaks after this. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason and that the Universe often works in those little ways to guide us in the right direction even if we continue to consistently make choices that deter us from the right path.

I know that where I am right now, I am here because of choices made, but also because of choices others made too. And to get here was a bit of a winding trail. This is not the end, and I am sure it's very frustrating for the Universe to watch us all make choices that lead us away from our destined routes and create a mess for the Universe to take care of to get us back on track. I also know that one of the reasons the place I am in right now feels so wonderful is because of those choices made and the struggling and strife that I went through to fully appreciate every thing I have now. If I was supposed to still be with that boy, the Universe would have made it happen. But I wasn't. The Universe had better things in store for me.

Something to remember when you feel the struggles in life.

1 comment:

MademoisElla Coquine said...

I think we've all had that "What was I thinking?!?!" moment in regard to creeps we've dated, especially in our early twenties. It takes wisdom, experience, and self-awareness to not repeat those patterns and based on this post, it looks like you are. Bravo!

I know women in their 30s who are still chasing after these bad boys and are banging their head against the wall wondering why they are single.

...and having to pay for your birthday dinner?!? Deal breaker!!