I need to start really focusing on school. I quit my part time job so I would have more time to devote and dedicate towards my courses and now is the time to give it my all. My projected graduating date goal is June 30, 2010. That leaves me 18 months to finish 16 courses. I am in three right now and hope to be completed all three by April 1, 2009 starting the next three at that time.
Distant learning has its perks: I can study anytime, anywhere, and can go year round non-stop. Distant learning also has a major downfall: I am responsible for making and sticking to my schedule. Not exactly the procrastinator's dream. I read a quote yesterday that spoke to me and I need to realize that I have to stop relying on tomorrow to get things done. I need to start setting limits and schedules and deadlines for myself so that I can complete this and move on to bigger and better things in my life.
Sometimes I think I procrastinate because I am afraid of the change that bigger and better things bring. I am afraid that my dreams may not be as glossy when I reach the goals that I think I want to reach. I am afraid not so much of failing, but of being disappointed. Right now I still have all of my dreams and expectations in front of me. When I reach the end, what if they aren't what I imagined at all? Sure, it could be better (and I am really rooting for it to be better), but what if it is the same, or worse? A part of me is really afraid to take the plunge and find out.
BUT a bigger part of me is tired of never moving forward in life. Talking all of the time about things I want to do and see and accomplish. Maybe my life won't be different, maybe I will still be at a 9-5 dreaming about a better life, maybe the whole point of living is to continuously wish for something more. Maybe that is what keeps one going and the minute you stop dreaming is the minute the point of life is over.
Maybe I should get back to work. And I will put in a good solid 2 hours of school work this evening. Maybe my New Years resolution should have been that I will trade in reality TV on MTV for my own reality.