My Life in a List: If I were to create an online dating profile

This is how I would describe myself.
It would really narrow down who I am looking for*.

1.I swear like a trucker. I like to pepper philosophical discussions and debates on literature with the f-word. I try to use it every second word to really stress the other words

2.In the late 90s I was a hand model. I fell off my bike and scarred my knuckles. My entire career was ruined and my hands had to settle for a low budget film career. It is awkward when people recognize my hands from certain "movies" -awkward for both parties in the conversation. Me for being in said movie, other person for having to admit to watching it. So..if you're going to ask, yes that was me.

3. I am a devoted Catholic twice a day at 11:11. I always ask God for something in those moments.

4.I'm only interested in the online aspect of dating. Please don't think we'll EVER meet face-to-face. It's because I have a phobia of walking through doors since I watched Sliding Doors and The Chronicles of Narnia. I hate that everything and anything could happen

5. I can cook a mean hotdog soup. Basically, you boil water, add hotdogs, let them simmer then serve the hotdogs on buns. I like to garnish mine with Ketchup.

6.I believe in helping homeless people out financially. I drink copious amounts and leave my empties by the trash.

7.I truly believe that the greatest moments in sport's history took place during the final scene of The Karate Kid. The Mighty Ducks V formation was pretty steller too.

8.I have an adopted pet squirrel. I encourage him (his name is Gus) to build a nest in my neighbour's rafters. It's win-win. But not for my neighbours.

9.I will always cook you your favorite meal. I will secretly add the ingredients that you are allergic too. Small things amuse me.

10.People who inspire me include Master Splinter, The Gremlins, and Terry and Dean from Fubar.


*I am mostly kidding. Please don't send me irate comments. Or I will be forced to cook you your favorite meal ;-)