Life isn't about finding yourself...

...life is about creating yourself (unknown).

I was in Chapters this weekend because part of my new duties as a host with the networking group is hosting a table at the book club events. Which means I get to buy new books to selfishly devour while dishes pile up. I walked past the journals and there was a journal with this quote on the front. Instantly I felt like that is exactly what I am doing. I am going to start creating the person I want to be. I bought the journal. And staring at the blank pages that are begging to be filled with thoughts and adventures and dreams stirs so much inspiration inside of me.

I want to have a life where I have the awesome home that I love entertaining in and love being alone in. I want a group of girlfriends that I can brunch with, visit art galleries with and devour huge pieces of chocolate cake while sipping coffee in cafes with. I want a reliable vehicle that I can jump in and take off on a road trip at the spur of the moment. I want to travel more -- either locally or far off in imaginable lands.

I want to start doing all of the things I want TODAY. Tomorrow never seems to come and I need to start living in the moment more. Start living the life I have always imagined that I would have one day.

I am on a "stay-cation" this week. I plan on spending the week reading, writing, sipping coffee in this cute cafe I discovered last week and setting up my new apartment.

☼ Awesome ☼

Today the owner of the networking group I am part of asked if I would be interested in "hosting" a second table at the book club events. What a great opportunity to meet lots of literature loving ladies! I am very optimistic about this opportunity :)
The best thing is that now I don't have to pay for an event I would be attending otherwise. And this mixes my passion for discussing fiction with my desire to try different restaurants around town.

What an amazing day!

This blog...

...is going to be going through some changes. There will still be some finance focus (as much as there is now haha), but I am going through a metamorphosis and about to embark on an extreme life makeover: Arual edition. The new place is just the beginning of creating the life I have always wanted.

I spent...

...all day Saturday (yesterday) moving. My back is sore, my new place is so disorganized. I am excited to start a new chapter in life though. And I love that i am blogging from my balcony on a Sunday morning sipping coffee.

New place will save me about $200 a month on rent, utilities and transportation costs. I can feel that September is going to be a good start to a new direction :) I feel as excited as I did when a new school year would start :)

Also, I purged so much stuff in this move. It feels good to be getting rid of junk that was holding me down.


Four garbage bags of clothes! I feel like I have nothing left...but most of that stuff was "experienced." Some pieces of clothing I have had since I was 16 (and I am now 27). And so many odds and ends of crap that entered my life. Adios amigos!

This makes me laugh

www.dontevenreply.com

But unless you like this kind of humour...it won't make you laugh. Don't shoot the messanger. For all you know I introduced you to something hilarious.

Movin' on up

They gave me the keys to my new apartment yesterday. I spent the last two days moving in some small loads of stuff....I have accumulated quite the pile to donate! I keep asking myself if I want t carry something up three flights of stairs. If the answer is no, it goes in the pile. I plan on taking a picture and posting it...mostly so I can remember all of the stuff I gave away. And anyone in my real world that reads these posts, if you see something you gave to me, please do not be offended. I did love the thought and what you gave me, I just think someone else will love it more.

Other than that, I have been so busy that I didn't spend any money this weekend (well aside from damage deposit and the first 15 days rent). And I took the bottles to the depot (first person there on a Sunday morning...right at opening, does this make me appear to be super lame?) and collected just over $26 :)

And now it is Sunday night. I have been on the go since 5:30 this morning and ready to relax, paint my nails, soak in the bath and read Marley and Me (which by the way has already made me cry and its only the 9th chapter). Hope everyone had a fantastic weekend.

PAY DAY!

This is the first pay day that I don't have a loan payment :)

The next thing I am targeting is the Eye Q charges on my credit card ($935).

I am moving on Saturday so I just want to make sure that everything is in order financially for the move first and then will start putting money towards that charge.

Taking Care of Business.

Dealing with Disappointment

My eyes swell with tears and it gets hard to breath. I assume that I didn't do anything right which is why I was let down. I beg and I plead, I freak and I cry. And I get mad at myself for acting this way which leads to more tears, tighter lungs, irrational thoughts.

I need to learn to react differently...with more grace and control. I need to remember that I am in control of how I react. And I need to learn to stop dealing with everything through tears. Crying really doesn't solve anything and it keeps making everything worse. Does anybody have any tips on how to deal with disappointment in a more controlled manner? I am open to all suggestions as I am continuously creating a bigger mess than before by letting myself down through my own high expectations.

Big week in Pop Culture

This week the Archie proposal issue drops

And its also the 40th anniversary of the Tate-Labianca murders

I can not believe Archie chose Veronica. I need a Team Betty T-shirt. :)

Edit: I guess it's also the 40th anniversary of Woodstock....I have often mostly focused on macabre events. Sorry Woodstock fans :)

UPDATE: Squeaky Fromme was released from Prison today! (August 14 2009)

1:10 AM

I went to The Lion King Musical today. It is amazing. I recommend if you have the chance to see it, GO! BUT, again, beware the matinee...so many talking kids, screaming kids, restless kids. I wish parents wouldn't assume that their child will enjoy sitting quietly in a chair in the dark watching a play...it is NOT the same as the animated movie that the child watches in the living room where the child is also able to play, fidget, colour or wander around.
Best parts: The giraffes, the animals walking down the aisle to greet baby Simba, when both Mufasa and Scar "fall" to their deaths, remembering when I saw the movie in theatres in grade seven (or maybe six?).

After we went for dinner at an oyster and wine bar. YUMMY!

It's late and I am sitting here thinking about too much. I feel confused and majorly dissatisfied with who I am in life these days. I have been working on a "designing my life" vision and feel positive and inspired at times. Right now though I feel lonely. He says he doesn't want to lose me and wants to try. But hasn't contacted me all day. And when I don't hear from him I get anxious and thoughts wander. He might read this and then I worry he will read it wrong and decide not to try. And should it be like this? Me constantly feeling unsure about him being unsure? I don't know if what I expected to happen when he decided to come back is reasonable and maybe I am being unfair wanting to be near him all of the time... it just makes me feel more at ease when he is near.... sorry for rambling.


I found this pic at desicomments.com

Funny People...

...was about an hour too long.
Pros: Some laugh out loud great jokes, it is mentioned that Adam Sandler's character's movies suck even though he is funny which is exactly the issue I have with Adam Sandler, the lesson about looking for what's important in life

Cons: Too many phallic references, ending dragged, Ira's "love" story was lame (no spark whatsoever)

Breakout star: The little girl named Ingrid. But I am biased to cute kids.

WTF moment: Cameo from Eminem?

I am glad I had a coupon and didn't pay for this movie (or the popcorn or the drinks). I forgot what it was like to see a movie on a Friday night. Reminded me of being 14 and pretty much spending my weekends at the movie theatre. And for some reason that makes me think about reading issues of YM and Seventeen.
A nice night out even though the movie was only okay.

I completely understand...

...why babies have "melt downs." It is so frustrating to be dealing with stuff and not being able to communicate to the person who is creating the stuff you are dealing with. I would love to have a melt down right now. But I have to be all grown up about it.

PAID IN FULL!

See you later loan! Thanks for freeing up some funds for me :)

I sit here and think

And I miss you.

A final Request made...

...for $115.53 to my loan. And that should be approved by early next week (taking the holiday into account) which means...my loan will be paid off! Right now it is 98% paid off :)

After the loan is paid, I will be putting $150 towards repaying my dad every month and $150 towards my VISA.

I am so happy that the loan is done with! Hurray!