This year for Christmas I am not planning on doing anything. I find Christmas to be the most stressful time of the year. I hate having to plan out which side of the family I am spending what meals or days with because one parent or the other always seems to lay a guilt trip. Possibly not intentionally, but I always feel bad when i say I am going to the other parent's. SO the last couple of years I have spent Christmas by myself, watching movies. This year will be a little bit harder because of the whole situation with A. I was tormenting myself earlier thinking about last year when we went ice skating on Christmas morning and then played board games Christmas afternoon. It was one of the best Christmas days I have ever had. I almost liked Christmas because of last year.
True to my word I have bought minimal presents for people. I am not aiding and abetting clutter this year. On Christmas day I am going to bake to keep my mind off of stuff and then I will hand out baked goodness when I do see my family.
In other Arualian news, people have finally moved into the basement suite at my place. They left their TV on all night and it is so loud I can hear everything going on. And one of the them snores...loudly. Such bliss. I can't wait till my lease is up and I can downsize to a place with less rent. This idea makes me sad too because I was originally thinking A and I were going to move in together when my lease was up. Unless I can figure out what I really want soon, I think A and I are going to be a thing of the past. He says he will wait while I figure stuff out, but I don't know what to do, I am super scared about getting hurt again, and I know he won't wait forever.
Tonight is my last shift at the toy store which is a happy thought at least.