Sunday, January 16, 2011

found an old school mate's blog...

...and I realized that I am not the only one "left behind" in life. It's interesting to note that, albeit our paths in life are different, we are at similar milestones. And in a graduating class of over 1000 people, there is a good chance that I am on a similar path as many of my peers. It's okay that I am not in a relationship, or not married, or don't have an offspring. If those things are supposed to happen, they will. I'm not left behind which makes it feel better and I feel less pathetic.

She refers to her blogging journey as creating a new and improved version of herself and I think it's interesting that when we all feel like we aren't on the same path as our peers, we instantly want to change ourselves. To fit in, to have what they have, by being like them.

I am a victim of this change idea too. I constantly make lists and plans of what I need to do to be better. But really, I'm pretty awesome. I have a giant heart that still remains open even after being broken (silly heart, when will you learn?), I am super creative, I have a great job, I have great friends, I have a dog and kitty who rely on me and are very forgiving. I am also fairly witty, know what the cool kids are up to, and smart enough to make my own decisions on what is cool or not.

Yes, I have my faults. I have trouble letting people and things go. I suffer from maybe one too many pity parties. I worry too much if people like me, never asking myself if I even like said person. I do not handle my emotions well, and when I am angry, disappointed, sad, lonely or sometimes even bored, I tend to cry ( thus the pity parties). I also suffer sometimes from foot-in-mouth disease.

But those things help make me ME, and shouldn't I accept the bad with the good? And if I am more accepting, focusing mostly on the good, then maybe the bad will not seem so bad?

It's crazy how in one hour, one can go from thinking she needs to change everything about herself, to realizing she needs to start accepting everything about herself. If I start accepting it, then others will too. I shouldn't have to apologize for being me.


Amber said...

Everyone has their own velocity. Some people graduate from school and immediately seem to have everything together--job, relationship, etc. For other people it takes longer. And there's nothing wrong with that. So we shouldn't compare ourselves to other people. It's cool that you've decided to accept who you are. It's something that I'm working on as well.

Dolly Iris said...

I think Facebook helps me see that I'm not doing so bad. A lot of people I graduated with are in the same boat as me. I think we've all excelled in different ways. I'm never satisfied with my progress but I guess it gives me drive.