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Thursday, January 6, 2011

My Confession

I don't only write here. I have two other blogs, for my eyes only, where I write exactly what I feel, think, want, love and hate. I have kept a diary since...well...it seems like forever. From writing about my days on the playground, to what boy I thought was cute to what teacher I felt was out to get me. To trying to make sense of my parents divorce, my brother being taken out of our home, my parents meeting new people and how that affected my head and heart. To my own first, second, third etc. etc. heart break. To trying to reach goals and deciphering messages of my dreams and making sense of messed up memories that kept surfacing when I was in my early 20s.

I like writing here. And having people comment. And sharing my ideas on this little piece of the world I have. But there are parts of me that I don't like sharing. Yet I need to release those parts onto paper as well so I created a private place for those thoughts to be.

Sometimes I think about opening those other two blogs to see what the world would think. Combining all three into a complicated picture of me and allowing all critics to pick me apart, highlighting my best parts, trashing my shameful parts. But, I have people I know who read this. Would they be okay with me opening those other parts of my life? Would they really want to know the reactions I have to their actions? Or exactly want to see just how ugly my life has been?

Do you have other private places you write? Are you okay with the world peering into every aspect of your life? Do you censor some of what you want to write?

4 comments:

Jane said...

I have notepads and journals that I jot notes in, and a ton of Google docs and Word files with various writings. I used to wish it was all more public (and organized), but I think I'm actually happier to have a little privacy.

Karissa said...

I certainly do. I have a livejournal since 2005 where I tell all. I have made many friends there, even met a couple in person! I also have tumblr where I post music and videos that I love. If you are on either of these, let me know and I'll email you the deets!

TL said...

I don't have a private blog. But the blog that I do write is totally anonymous. None of my friends/family know that it exists (yet) so I have been very open and honest.

Dolly Iris said...

I used to keep a diary but it was read and I didnt enjoy the results so I have never been able to trust putting my thoughts and feelings to paper since. Sad, cuz I used to love to write.

I have the Dolly Blog and a personal blog which you know but none are very confessional.

Whatever you write I will read it. I always do, I just dont always comment becuz sometimes your gifted writing is over my wittle head. :) I learn from you though and it helps me grow as a person.

You and Nathaniel are my favorite bloggers!