Tuned in Tuesday on a Wednesday

You know when you move and you take a week off and you lose track of days? Sorry!

But, to follow Ashley's rule, a day late means two Tuned In Tracks! Yay!!!!

So, here's number 1: Emily Wells "Symphony 1- in the Barrel of a Gun"

I first heard Emily perform live at the 2009 Calgary Folk Fest. And fell in love with her use of the violin (and her cover of Biggie Smalls). I love the violin so much that one drunken night, I bought one off of Kijiji. Which leads to another adventure when my brother and I went to pick it up. There is no video for this song, so just enjoy the sound.

And you know when you are driving in your car and you reach you destination, but a song you love is on so you sit and wait it out? This second tune  -- Danger Mouse and Daniele Luppi featuring Jack White "One" is one of those songs for me. Again, no video, so just enjoy! You should probably also listen to Danger Mouse and Daniele Luppi's song featuring Norah Jones. It's also just as amazing.

The apartment

Tonight is my last night in my apartment. 3 years ago I moved in here and decided that this would be my fresh start in life. And although at first I kept falling back into my old habits with my ex, I would determine that the last three years have been filled with major growth and discovery.

This place is not a luxury home in any way, shape or form. In fact, some months I feel it borders on slums. I have had major issues with the rental company regarding repairs (a leak that happened in April of 2010 and destroyed the ceiling in my bedroom is still not fixed, despite multiple attempts to have it done) and most of the people who have lived in this building last only a few months before making the midnight move. I did love that I had plenty of space, and I was a quick walk from both work and shopping, as well I could easily get down town.

I have cried a lot behind the closed door. And laughed a lot. I read a lot of books, watched a lot of movies and spent copious amounts of time Interneting. I enjoyed shared cases of beer and lone bottles of wine. And in the time period living here I fell in love twice -- once with myself and then with Rainman. It was all part of the process of discovering myself.

We move to our new place tomorrow. The truck will be here at 10, followed by a long day of loading and unloading furniture, boxes, artifacts of my past. After tomorrow morning, Molly will have a new route to walk. I will no longer be greeted by the graffiti outline of Yoda outside my building every day. I won't know the drama that takes place in the adjacent apartments to mine anymore. Or hear good morning from the regular bottle pickers that always reciprocate my smile as I pass them my empties. I will have new spots to become familiar with. A new coffee shop and a new pub to start frequenting. We will be much further from downtown and it will start to feel like a special out of the way trip.

My room mate situation will change as I learn to live daily with my fiance. And we figure out the perfect balance of space and togetherness under one roof. I will have 2 cats and a dog to receive unconditional love from. There will be adjustments for everyone as we start to make the new house our home.

I am excited for the next chapter, but have been so caught up in this chapter, loving each and every moment, I am reluctant to finish the last sentence. To close the door behind me for the final time and leave these walls for the next occupants to dwell within. I hope they experience the growth I have.

The start of something wonderful

Last Saturday I woke up in a horrible mood -- between packing, organizing this raffle, planning a brunch for the weekend we move with Team McAwesome, working full time, my EWIN and United Way duties, I was feeling stressed, tired and not very pretty. Plus Molly was not feeling well and added to my worry for her health.

I went to Rainman's and he suggested that we take Molly for a walk in Fish Creek park instead of running her up and down the stairs every half an hour. I think the dog was in cahoots with him.

Rainman recently bought a new DSL camera and has been playing with it a lot, taking pictures of various things to see how different functions work, effects of lighting, etc. etc. He suggested we wade across the creek to this secluded island in the park and I figured it was to get more pictures. When we were in a little clearing, he looked at the dog and stated "this looks like a good spot, eh Molly?" and the next thing I know, he is down on one knee, holding up a ring to me and asked me to marry him.

I said YES! and cried. and laughed. and cried. and called my mom, who already knew. Because Rainman had made a point of going to her house previously with the ring to ask her permission. And my dad already knew. Because Rainman had asked him for permission when we went to Blairmore the last time. And I guess the dog knew. Which is why she was playing sick and we rescheduled her hair appointment that day (she wasn't really playing -- she legit has been under the weather due to aging).

My ring is very sparkling. Almost as sparkly as I have been feeling since I had it placed on my finger. I get teary eyed thinking about walking down the aisle towards Rainman and knowing this is just the beginning of an amazing life we will have together. I get excited thinking that all of the ideas I have had for a wedding get to come to fruition. I get dreamy eyed when I think about the next 60 years or more we will have together and all of the adventures we will have.

And for a girl who woke up that morning feeling like an Ogre, I sure ended my Saturday feeling like a Princess. I knew Rainman was special the first time we met. And here I am about to embark on this amazing journey with him right next to me.

Tuned In Tuesday

This song came on in my car this evening while I was listening to a mix CD She-ra made me a few years ago.

And I got all teary.

Because something big just happened in my life that I promise to write all about tomorrow and this song made me so happy!

"Man oh man, you're my best friend"

♥

The Little Things

Rainman took me out for lunch today and came into the apartment to see all of the fur brats. He was sitting on the deck and all three were surrounding him waiting for pets. Rainman looked so happy.

I wonder if this is how my mom felt when she would see us kids run to my dad's truck when he got home from work. Before the divorce.

Random Musings

• Slowly and steady, my house is becoming more and more boxed up. I took a car full of items to Goodwill yesterday. And my dog groomer would be so proud that I brought a garbage bag full of paper to the recycling bin (instead of just tossing it). Rainman did a walk through of the place last week and sent me a few pictures. My new kitchen is gorgeous! I can't wait :)

• Kitty has been staying with me to help transition her to get used to having 2 other pets around. She pretends she hates Oryx, yet every day gets closer and closer in proximity to him. And she has started following us around. So that you can picture this: Molly is my shadow, Oryx is Molly's shadow and to end the train we now have Kitty. This is my life now. Oh, God, I need a drink, a speaker and a cigarette. ;-)

• My bag-o-booze fundraiser sales have slowed down a bit this week. I have lots of promises to buy tickets though. I have faith that this will turn out awesome. A few of the girls in Team McAwesome are also working out logistics to create a calendar where we are in vintage aprons, with kitchen props and there will be recipes shared each month. It should be a fun photo shoot. I love being surrounded by awesome. So inspiring.

• I am obsessed with the game SongPop right now. I am not great at Modern Rap and I suck at Classical, but I am an ace for 90s Alternative and Ultimate 90s. Want to play? Send me a request (my user name is lowqis).

Tuned In Tuesday

 Rainman introduced me to The Flobots a year or so ago and this morning while on my run, "Handlebars" came on as I ran through the park.

Every time I listen to this song I get a bit more out of it and the meaning becomes a bit more complex. At first a song that seemingly sounds like an "I can do anything" anthem, I think it shows just how out of control being able to do anything can become for humanity.

Watch, listen and leave me your thoughts. Enjoy!

The Authentic Meme

1. How long have you been blogging? Just under 5 years, I started in March of 2008.

2. Did you go to college? Yes and I am still going.

3. Where have you traveled? All over Canada and the United States, as well I have been to England (loved Cambridge, Southwald and of course, London), Latvia and Jamaica. So many more places to see.

4. Which celebrity do you get mistaken for? Not mistaken for, but often told I look like Jodie Foster

5. What are your three biggest pet peeves? People shortening my name to Laur or changing it to Laurie, People who are consistently late (it feels like you think your time is more important than mine), people who don't clean up after their dogs on walks.

6. What is your favorite movie? So many, but a movie I watch over and over would be the Labyrinth

7. What is your drink of choice; wine, beer, or liquor. Or Water, Soda, Tea? I am trying to tell myself it should be water, but like Jesus, I change it to wine ;-)

8. What is something you enjoy to do when you have me time? Soak in the tub reading.

9. What is your biggest phobia? I hate that feeling when you are on an unsteady surface and could fall. I have literally been in tears thinking I was going to plummet to my death -- from standing on a coffee table.

10. Share with us an embarrassing moment of your past? Everytime I try to do some quick math in front of Rainman, I get embarassed. Math is just not my forte. He tells me I am the smartest person he knows...till it comes to adding.

11. What day would you love to relive again? Why? I don't think I have had a day yet I want to relive. But if I absolutely had to choose, it would be between hiking Sulpher Mountain in Banff or Day 2 of the Ride to Conquer Cancer. I loved the feelings of accomplishment those days brought to me. I might just change of the cast a bit.

12. If your life was turned into a movie… what actor would your best friend think should play you? The girl that played Juno -- quirky, cynical, sarcastic, cute.

13. What are the jobs you had in high school/college/the early years? I have worked at a coffee shop, as a sandwich artist, manning the till at a dollar store, picking orders in a pharmaceutical warehouse, administrative work to sales support.

14. Show us a picture from high school or college. 

I don't know why I can't rotate this, but this is  Sara and I when we were 15. My hair was so short!

15. If you could travel anywhere in the world, all expenses paid, where would you go? I would do a year in Europe, travelling all over, doing both super touristy things and very local-like things.

16. Where do you see your life 6 and 1/2 years from now? Married and we own our first home. And I have taken Rainman on his first trip where he needs a passport :)

17. If you could choose to stay a certain age forever, what age would it be and why? my 30s. I am smart enough now to know what I want and how to get it without sacrificing who I am. 

18. What 5 songs are included on the soundtrack to your life? (You can pick "Middle School", "High School", "College", "Post College" or any format you like.)

• "The Macarena" -- because while I am figuring out myself I keep falling into the same habits, doing the exact same things over and over. Like a line dance.
• "White Rabbit" by Jefferson Airplane -- I partied pretty hard in my late teens and early 20s. This song reminds me of myself then.
• "I believe in a thing called love" by The Darkness -- no matter how many times I taped my heart back together, I never lost hope in love.
• "Eye of the tiger" by Survivor -- I just keep getting back up every time I falter.
• "Overcome" by Tricky -- karmacoma -- when there's trust there will be treats.

19. Romney picked Paul Ryan to run as his veep. Any thoughts? Nope.

 

Run for the Hills

Tonight I made a commitment to other community members on the Fb group for the half marathon to meet at the hill that is at kilometre 17 of our race.

 Hill training. UGH.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't a bit terrified of running up and down that hill multiple times in this heat. Here's to the next 8 Thursdays of my life.

Random Rambling

• I find it entertaining that Rainman thinks you can't have cereal for dinner or ice cream cake for breakfast. It's even more entertaining to me to witness the look of horror on his face when I break this silly rule of his. Life is for living and if I feel like having ice cream, then that's what I am going to do. 
• Our raffle for Ronald McDonald House started this week. We have 2500 tickets to sell. We have sold about 200 of them and its day 2. Keeping optimistic about reaching our goal. My little brother surprised me today saying he had sold 50 tickets and asked for more. I am seriously surrounded by awesome
• Kitty has moved in with Oryx, Molly and me till our big move at the end of the month. She has claimed the top of the fridge as hers due to it's bird's eye view of the other animals she now has to associate with. She isn't impressed with this situation at all. I think it's the apathy from my pets that's bothering her the most.
• I have another new manager at work. I am excited for this opportunity to increase my knowledge base of the industry as well as intrigued with utilizing some more social media aspects within my role. 7 managers in 5 years and every single one has helped me not only professionally, but also personally (even if they had no idea everything I have taken away from their mentorship)
• Still struggling with running. I have started following running blogs to inspire and motivate me. 
• On tonight's episode of Cooking with Lala, I made tuna burgers. Except I substituted gold fish crackers for bread crumbs. They were tasty and a nice alternative to just adding the tuna to my salad. And having tuna helped me gain back Kitty's adoration.
• Happy this is a short week and that it's a pay week. Just 16 more sleeps till we are in the new place!

Tuned In Tuesday

It's Tuned In Tuesday!

This weekend I watched a lot of Olympics and this song was in a commercial I believe (although it could have been a television show...mindless TV means I don't really think about what I am watching) -- thank goodness for Shazam!

I just love the 1960s-ish vibe of this song. And it made me think about a potential song for a big day in my life.

What are you playing on repeat today?

The Too Tired to Think Meme, Part 2

26. What type of errands do you like running? Buying groceries, returning the bottles to the depot. Other than that I don't really have regular errands.

27. Have you ever eaten snow? Absolutely. But never yellow snow.

28. What color are your bedsheets? Mine are red, Rainman's are white.

29. What’s your favorite flower? I love Orchids. We can blame the movie Adaptation for this obsession

30. Do you do ballet? No. But every year I go and watch the Alberta Ballet and for a few hours after, I plie and pretend that I too am a ballerina.

31. Do you listen to classical music? Yes. I was told listening to it while studying will help you retain what you're reading or something...(obviously I wasn't listening to Classical music when I was told this as I don't fully remember). Now I just enjoy listening to it when reading.

32. What is the first TV Theme song that pops in your head? Full House

33. Do you watch Sponge Bob? I have, but not religiously.

34. What temperature is it outside right now? It's very warm -- its 19 degrees Celcius and it is only 9 a.m. I foresee beers on a patio later....

35. Do people consider you smart? I have been told that I am smart yes. But I truly believe you can learn something from any one and you should be open to that around every one.

36. How many piercing do you have? My ears and my navel.So like 10 holes total, but I don't use all of the ear piercings anymore.

37. Are you signed on [to] AIM? No.

38. Have you ever tried gluing your fingers together? Probably. Remember question 35? I might not be smart all of the time.

39. How do you feel about your family? As I grow older, I am more appreciative of some members and less tolerant for the BS others pull and have made decisions to cut the toxicity out of my life.

40. Do you have an iPod? No. But I do have an iPhone.

41. What time do you go to bed? I aim for 10, but that usually turns into 11:30 or later.

42. What CD is currently in your CD player? In my car is Lana Del Ray -- a burned CD from Rainman.

43. What movie do you know every line to? Empire Records, Party Girl, Dazed and Confused, and Beauty and The Beast.

44. What is your favorite salad dressing? Olive oil and Balsamic Vinegar. Followed by Ranch.

45. What do you want for Christmas this year? It's our first Christmas in the new place. I want to start creating traditions. Pinterest has been very helpful in this field.

46. What family member/friend lives the farthest from you? Where? My friend Kerker lives in NL. My friend Nimet lives in Boston. I don't believe anyone is living over seas right now.

47. Do you like hugs? I love hugs from Rainman, my family and close friends. I am not a fan of hugs from people I am acquainted with or worse -- people I just met or don't even know.

48. Last time you had butterflies in your stomach? Rainman keeps looking in jewellery cabinets in the mall. :)

49. What’s the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name? They often say my last name as Brewer. But I am forgiving -- technically my last name is dutch for brewer.

50. Last person you hugged? Rainman this morning. <3 br="br">

The little things

I love when Rainman refers to himself as Dad or Daddy when talking to our pets. Warms my heart.

Happy Long Weekend!

on running

The last few runs I have had have been just awful. The podcast in my head has been very full of noise -- things to do, projects, ideas, news I have heard/discovered, books I have read, etc., etc., etc. It feels so loud I can't settle into a rhythm and I end up stopping and having to walk. And walking seems to create a voice in my head to start beating me up about being a failure (yes--very melodramatic of me, I know) which doesn't help motivate me to start running again.

Last Saturday I had to run 6 miles to keep up with my half marathon training. It started out well -- the air was cool, the sky was clear, the sun was shining. About 1km in, my nose started bleeding. Which sucked. But I didn't want to turn around and give up so I ran to the nearest gas station to get napkins. And then walked while I waited for the bleeding to stop (also, I need to stop watching movies. Right away I was sure my nose started bleeding because I was going to die. The number 1 sign in a movie that the protagonist is deathly ill is a sporadically bleeding nose). The walking made it more difficult to get back into my run and the negative white noise started up in my head. Rainman had offered to meet me at the 5k point with water (this is one of the reasons I know he's the one I am going to marry --he got up at 7 a.m. on a Saturday to drive water to me while I was running. Best. Boyfriend. Ever.) and I was a mess by the time we met up. I was crying and there were blood drips all over my legs -- he probably thought I had been in an accident, not just having a bad run. And he let me get into his car, with my tail between my legs, and cry the whole way home about how much I suck. And then he gave me a hug and made me laugh and told me I was awesome albeit ridiculous. And that I wasn't going to die. I love that guy.

On Wednesday, I just needed to put in a quick 3 miles. I went after work and again, the negativity got to me and I found myself walking and halfheartedly running the entire distance. I did make myself do the entire route though. Running usually clears my head, so I don't know WTF is going on here. I spoke with some friends on Twitter and it was recommended to listen to music or an actual podcast to distract myself. I promised myself that I would get up early this morning and try it out.

I did get up early this morning. And I did do my 3 miles. I didn't use music or a podcast. I used my head to just constantly tell myself to get to the next light post or just to the top of the hill or I could already see the mall which meant I was almost done. And this time it worked. I ran the entire 3 miles with no walking. And it was exactly what I needed to regain my confidence in running.

Some things that I need to remember:

• I need to increase the protein I am eating. Right now I am living on veggies and pasta.
• I need to keep hydrating myself all day, not just right after my runs
• I need to upload music into my iPhone to bring with me. My longer runs are going to need the distraction for sure.
• Everyone has bad runs and really fabulous runs. That's life. I need to stop beating myself up on the bad ones and remember those feelings of awesome from the great runs.
• That my real goal in this half marathon is to finish it. It's not about time or if I needed to walk. And no one is going to look down on me or stop loving me or lose pride in me if I finish last.

Running is supposed to be my escape and I really do love it. I think part of the issue is this pressure of being prepared for the half. And all of that pressure is causing a bit of noise that I can't run away from. If you run, how do you keep yourself going when its a tough day?

Random Musings

• This morning while walking the dog, I watched one old man boost another old man's truck. By old I do mean in their 70s, which I suppose some may consider young. Anyway, when the truck started, the old man needing the boost jumped out of the cab exclaiming that his friend (or possibly a stranger giving a hand) was magic and reached out to shake his hand. I loved witnessing this moment. A helping hand that was appreciated so much.

• Last night I picked up moving boxes from someone on Twitter advertising that she had tons. She wasn't lying. My Corolla was filled (back seat, front seat and trunk) and it felt very much like a clown car with how many boxes we got in there. It turned out that I had actually met the lady giving them away a few years ago at a GirlTalk Event. This city is crazy small sometimes.

• I kept half of those boxes and brought the other half to Rainman. As we unloaded my car and I kept piling them in his arms until he ended up dropping all of them, we had one of those fall down laughs with tears. I love moments like that -- it was so ridiculous that even now I am smirking thinking about it.

• 24 more sleeps till I get to share a room with my best friend. It's like counting down to Christmas. We're both very excited.

• I just read The Cat who Came in from the Cold --a fable about a wild cat in India who became the first domesticated cat. I really enjoyed it, it only took about an hour to read and the lessons on human nature were interesting.