December 17 – Lesson Learned

What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward? (Author: Tara Weaver)

The best thing I have learned about myself this year is that is okay to be single and on my own. And that the best thing I can take away from all of this "alone" time is to really enjoy that I get to do whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want.

After I first broke up with A, I felt like I had already wasted so much time chasing a dream that was never going to happen. And I thought it would be great to just meet that man waiting for me and start the rest of my life. But, I am not ready for this man yet. I have a lot of sadness and anger still about my lost dreams (and that anger is mostly at myself for letting my time be wasted) and it wouldn't be fair to any man to come into my life now with all of this baggage I am carrying.

As soon as I was honest with myself about this, I started to feel much better (albeit I am suffering from lack of sleep these days due to thinking way too much).

Last Saturday, someone double parked behind me blocking me in at the local historical park. The park was still open for another two hours and, although security did call a tow truck, I was stuck waiting. I spent the time listening to music, thinking, texting and telling myself that things could really be worse. The other choice I had was to be irate and complain, but it wasn't going to move this car so what was the point? In my thinking, I realized that my life right now is a similar situation. And I have to be patient to get out of the place I feel stuck in right now. I can either do it with a smile on my face and realizing that even though it sucks, there isn't any point in lamenting about the situation OR I can bitch, complain, cry and throw myself a pity party. And then not only will I still be stuck, but I'll feel horrible about myself too. I believe in fate and I think the Heritage Park parking lot incident happened to me to teach me a lesson about patience and being patient with grace.

I have a great heart and I am fun, kind, smart and not too shabby to look at. Everything I want in life is going to work out for me. I just have to wait till it's the right time for it to all happen. Best lesson learned of 2010.