A letter to my ex

Dear C,

Why after a little more than two years did you feel the need to contact me? I was your yo-yo for so long after you broke my heart and I finally cut the string and picked myself up off of the ground. I have made strides in my personal life, my professional life, my psychological life. Things with A are going amazing and I know now that you were never the true one for me. I gave so much of myself to be what you wanted and when you didn’t want the me that I allowed you to help mold (I do take responsibility for giving myself up to you), not only did I lose you, but all of my identity. It has been an empowering journey to get where I am today. I love that A loves me—all of my dorky, goofy, nerdy, worrisome self. Why is it that you drop me one line that states “you just felt the need to contact me” and I am suddenly suffering from uneasiness, anxiety and fear that you won’t accept the person that I am . Why do I even care?
Once upon a time I made you my world and you took everything away from me. I don’t want to know how you are doing, or what you are doing, or who you are doing it with. I don’t want to wonder why out of the blue you messaged me. I want to forget the part of my life that I spent with you. I want to curl up in A’s lap and have him put his arms around me and feel confident again that the world is alright. Why do I allow you to still have this power to take my confidence away?
So C, I do not think I can answer your need for contact. I want to say that I hope life is going well for you, but honestly, I hope that you are miserable --immature of me maybe, but truthful.

L